Hazel: "It's STILL 'Dennis', Fuckotron!"

One Night...Hazel was out whipping sacks full of cottage cheese at rhinosauruses...

When she caught sight of a beautiful woman or dude or something on the top of a tower made out of cola vending machines

Hazel was so stunned by this vision of beauty--

...that she forgot to run away from the rhinosaurus

Rhinosaurus: "hey"

Hazel: "uh, uh-huh..."

So...she had a long talking-to with the rhinosaurus about interpersonal disrespect

Hazel: "sigh"

...but when Hazel turned around, the tower of cola vending machines had disappeared!

Hazel: "Oh, batfuck."

That night, Hazel thought about that woman or dude or whatever. 3 or 4 times over.

The next day, Hazel went to the bar, to try to find out about the mysterious cola tower of vending illusion & such fleeting beauty.

..But noone knew!

...Until Hazel got to the end of the booths--there was ONE woman, slouched over drunk & muttering into her beer--

Drunk Woman: "Mutter...Mutter...beer"

The drunk woman, when Hazel asked about the cola tower, let out a long, husky laugh, which broke up into coughing--

Drunk Woman: "The Cola Tower, seek ye? Best forget it!"

(the souced lady said)

Drunk Woman: "But if, persist ye must...Ye'll needs-must meet the Don o'Guano!"