Hazel: "Yeah, STILL 'Dennis', Fuck-o!"
holy shit! scorpions?
Once, for a lark, Hazel decided to see what those decending stairways on the sidewalks were all about...
Hazel: "Uh, huh..."
HELL O STATION DOWNBOUND
HELL O STATION
...She peered down the stairs & was amazed!
people pushing life-sized blocks of tofu
high religious officials engaged in high-stakes poker with squirrells.
...but when she fully entered the underground realm, everything changed!
Hazel: "Fuck. Where's the hot lady shoving tofu?"
JUST THEN, a horrible beast sprung forth from the train tracks!
Hazel: "What the fuck?"
inexplicable blackberry bush
...The beast gnashed its teeth...uh, beak, & blinked its compound eyes & waved its floppy antenae & stuff--
Beast: "Zeez..why not have me rub my belly & pat my head at the same time, too?"
Hazel, never one to be easily intimidated, asked the thing some questions...
Hazel: "So, uh, what's your deal?"
The horrible beast was most loquatious--
Beast: "Well, I'm the Morning Commutant; it's my job to lure in business people & zap their minds into a halucinatory world, where they believe they have been transported to another place, & I monitor the work they believe themselves to be doing--then I sell the results, from my memory, as intellectual property & mail them paychecks."
Hazel was unsure about this--
Hazel: "well, as long as it keeps 'em off the streets..."
...But had another question
Hazel: "So...the tofu woman..."
Morning Commutant: "Just an illusion. Sorry."
In the end, they agreed to disagree--
Morning Commutant: "directionless wastrel"
Hazel: "Mind-parasiting yuppie abomination against free will..."
...& Hazel went home to think--
...about the woman straining against the tofu, anyway...