Hazel: "Yeah, STILL 'Dennis', Fuck-o!"

Once, for a lark, Hazel decided to see what those decending stairways on the sidewalks were all about...

Hazel: "Uh, huh..."

...She peered down the stairs & was amazed!

...but when she fully entered the underground realm, everything changed!

Hazel: "Fuck. Where's the hot lady shoving tofu?"

JUST THEN, a horrible beast sprung forth from the train tracks!

Hazel: "What the fuck?"

...The beast gnashed its teeth...uh, beak, & blinked its compound eyes & waved its floppy antenae & stuff--

Beast: "Zeez..why not have me rub my belly & pat my head at the same time, too?"

Hazel, never one to be easily intimidated, asked the thing some questions...

Hazel: "So, uh, what's your deal?"

The horrible beast was most loquatious--

Beast: "Well, I'm the Morning Commutant; it's my job to lure in business people & zap their minds into a halucinatory world, where they believe they have been transported to another place, & I monitor the work they believe themselves to be doing--then I sell the results, from my memory, as intellectual property & mail them paychecks."

Hazel was unsure about this--

Hazel: "well, as long as it keeps 'em off the streets..."

...But had another question

Hazel: "So...the tofu woman..."

Morning Commutant: "Just an illusion. Sorry."

In the end, they agreed to disagree--

Morning Commutant: "directionless wastrel"

Hazel: "Mind-parasiting yuppie abomination against free will..."

...& Hazel went home to think--

...about the woman straining against the tofu, anyway...