Hazel: "It's STILL "Dennis", Fuck-o!"
moving dental supplies
One day, Hazel was out spuh-lunking in the desert...
burning wastes of th' desert
Hazel: "This was a poorly-planned exkurzun."
When she saw an explorer studying something!
secret camel bar
Hazel introduced herself...
Hazel: "I'm Dennis & I'm fucking amazing. Who are you?"
the hat, she is doffed!
Hazel's jaw dropped. The explorer was gorgeous as all-geet-out! Hot crap.
Hazel was tongue-tied--
Then, the thing that was being studied said something!
Thing: "Exkooz me, I don't havall dae."
Yes, it was a DIRECTION SQUID! Descendant from a race of star-fairing chephthelopods that came to Mars in 1634 (then moved to earth after eviction...
...these noble beasts rapidly gained employment as guides & pop psychiatrists--
Squid: "Snap it up, Poodles!"
scorpion with movie
...Anyway, they often wore paper hats & dispensed information
Squid: "So, jah come here for a reason or what?"
impatient tentacle waggle
What Hazel heard next made her heart jump! (metaphorically speaking)
Explorer: "I have travelled th' wurld over (zum parts of it, twice)...but I have not discovered th' zecrets of self-gratification--"
...& stepped up to the plate!
Hazel: "Fergit this loozah! I've staid home most of my life & I know them secrits best of anyone!"
scorpion w. an oscar
...so Hazel shared her expertise w. her new pupil...
scorpion w. nothing
But when the time came for her to use her new knowledge, Hazel was alone again...
Hazel: "Did NOT think this thru"
...So Hazel threw her own pop quiz, to take the edge off.